Thursday, January 14, 2010

We Suck At L4D2, EA Hates Barry, and RRODs

The Axis played a little four player Left 4 Dead 2 last night, and about all I have to say is that we really are not good at that game... yet. We tried the Dark Carnival campaign and things were going swimmingly until the last stand on the Midnight Riders' stage. And, even then, things went pretty well until the chopper arrived. This is when we put our "suck" on full display for all the undead to see... and that Tank... and that Jockey... I think the Spitter was there... maybe a Hunter in the mix too. That is to say, there were a lot of special infected in the area when the chopper arrived. On our first attempt at the finale we were learning the lay of the land. We found the health packs, ammo, pipe bombs, etc. Our concern was not knowing where rescue would come from or where it would finally settle to wait for us. To complicate things we had a fucking gnome in tow the entire time. There's a carnival game you can play early on, and scoring 750 points or more drops ol' Gnome Chompski. There's an achievement for rescuing him, and dammit, we were going to get it.

That first attempt ended when the chopper arrived while were were all out of position. I had to run back for the gnome, A tank showed up, there was a jockey out there, plus a horde wave. We got spread out between the stage and the chopper and everybody went down.

On attempt number two, we had a little more success. We placed the gnome by the final resting spot of the chopper, then took our spot on the stage. Everything was pretty uneventful until, once again, the chopper showed up. We all kind of got over NEAR the chopper, but then a seemingly invincible Jockey got a hold of Barry and rode him off into the sunset. Rescue attempts were useless and ultimately stupid... but we fucking mastered in Stupid in college (I know right, "you went to college?"). Fast forward a solid 10 seconds: that limey Ben is sitting on the chopper (with the gnome), Chuck is out, Barry is out, and I'm hobbling back at 1% health. Enter the giant piece of concrete the Tank likes to magically pull from his pocket. They try to make it look like he pulls a chunk off of whatever he's standing on... but he was on some wooden bleachers (aluminum at best)... anyway, I died. Ben took off with the chopper. Nobody made it start to finish (Ben entered the game after the first safe house); therefore nobody got any achievements. We might take another stab at this tonight.

After we completed our lecture on fail, I took to watching some TV and chatting with Ben and Barry while they tried to set up a game of Army of 2: 40 Bro-hugs a Day (I mock it... but I still bought it). EA decides that Barry is not in their target demographic (Do Chinese people want to play games that take place in China?) and won't let him into their servers. So Ben and I went through about the first 30 minutes of the game. I enjoyed it. The controls are a little sluggish and take some getting used to, but it was fun to be sure.

Let me revisit Barry's problems for a bit. His 360 is bordering on busted right now. He was going all old school NES on it to try and make it work... right down to blowing into the disk drive. He smacked it around a bit and it finally started reading disks. I could just see him pressing the power button and getting that fucking screen that flashed between blue and static. That was always awesome. It didn't help that the first Nintendo I ever owned spent a couple of years hooked up to a TV that had to "warm up" before anything could be watched on it. So that made the "work dammit!" song and dance all the more fun. Anyway, to summarize, Barry will be getting a visit from the RROD fairy soon.

Which brings me to this morning. EA finished their background check on Barry and let him into their precious game. He contacted Ben and they agreed to meet in the virtual space for some Ao2. This is where Ben's 360 promptly red ringed. It's a real shit storm out there kids.

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