Stay Cool, Baby

Probably the coolest thing ever:

Game Night: A Year In Review

Game Night... it's a "tradition" were here at the Axis started several months ago. Well, now that I think about it, it probably started almost a year ago (correct me if I'm wrong here fellas). It's been a pretty good year for multiplayer games, and we've dove head first into a lot of them. However, we're "gamers" in the truest sense of the word... no one genre and no one game can really keep us tied down forever. We're not the guys you still see playing Halo 3 a year out... no, no, our appetite extends far beyond that. However, I do believe the seed was planted with Halo 3. It was a game we all picked up... say what you want about the Halo fanboys (definitely some of the loudest and most obnoxious out there... not to mention it includes these guys), but Halo is more than a solid multiplayer experience. So, off we went. We certainly had our share of late nights, rockets to the face, and the occasional team kill... usually with a rocket to the face on a late night. After several weeks of Halo 3 things died down on the multiplayer front.... I mean we do all have day jobs... which should be obvious by how often this thing is updated. But, we didn't want the party to end, so we instituted our own Game Night... every Wednesday night. Over the next few nights (or weeks?) I plan to lay out each game... tonight I start where we started:

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare

Clearly one of the best games to come out in 2007... which almost kills the "year in review" portion of this... but we didn't start Game Night until early 2008... so shut it (I know this because Fenris and Tag opened my still cellophane encased copy when they came into town for a New Year's party at my house). It was a game I never really excelled at... and I'll be honest, it's a game I don't remember a lot of during most of our game nights because it was a while back. So, with that I'll leave it to the comments... Anybody out there in blog land who has a good COD4 memory feel free to comment (like anybody reads this)... and of course, those of us who are actually PART of game night should leave comments too. DO IT... or the COLE TRAIN WILL GIT YA, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Mirror's Reflection

Mirror’s Edge is a title that isn’t meant for everyone. Some people get motion sickness. Some think it’s not innovative. Come on, it’s a first person running game. I tried it out but decided not to finish it for reasons I’ll say later on. I’d like to say that I’m a fan of the whole free running/parkour thing. Assassin’s Creed put it out there and a little movie called District B13 was also fun to watch. Mirror’s Edge lets you do some very interesting stunts, borderline quite unbelievable. The controls fit but the game itself is pisspoor.



I thought this would be more of a puzzle game but there are at times at most two ways to get from A to B. At first, it was great just running and climbing around but you’re doing it illegally and therefore, police are involved. They shoot at you but you can take a few shots. The things I really disliked about gameplay is that in some areas, you are forced to fight guards with automatic weapons in order to progress. This can be done but I don’t see why I have to. Despite a large environment, the game is really linear. This isn’t what I expected for a running game. If you’ve tried the demo, the prologue level it gives you is a pretty good indication of what the rest of the game is like. I can’t say how it could have been better, I just know how good it is and isn’t. 7/10

Don't Worry, I'm Here To Help...

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. What the fuck are the Houston Texans trying to pull? Turnover after turnover after turnover. It's like Matt Schaub and Sage Rosenfels have some kind of bet going to see who will throw the most eye en tees this year. As I type this, Sage is really padding his stats in this contest. That's pick #4 for the game. But, worry not, dear Texans. Let ol' Aith here help you out. You see I think I've come to the root of the problem:





See that there... that's a Texans Jersey. It's what they've been calling "Liberty White" 'round these parts. Study it very closely... that's where you want to throw the ball. I've even done you the favor of making it an Andre Johnson jersey... turns out, this is where you should be going with the ball most of the time anyway. Now I know it's only your first day here... and I don't want to give you too much to digest right away. But, I think we might be able to go over a couple of variations of the jersey above.

These are Navy and "Battle Red" version of your jersey. Notice how they still display the "Texans" logo above the numbers on the front. That's a real key give away. That's what you want to look for at all times since it's consistent across all 3. Once again, these are Andre Johnson jerseys... seriously, throw him the fucking ball... Matt... up here asshole... this is important shit, pay attention.

Yes, I understand you're hurt... yes I know you didn't play at Navy, I said the Jersey was a "Navy" color... fuck

Now, if you find yourself in a situation where this knowledge has left you... I know a crumbling pocket is a tough place to keep your wits about you... simply look down at your own jersey. Match that up with the little bodies running around in front of you, and throw it to that guy... only make sure that number is "80" for fuck's sake.

Is There Something Important Going On Today?

Hey, it's me, Aith, and I have a few things to say about election day...

What’s really getting to me are all the people who are saying things like “I’m praying for our country” or “I’m worried about our country” or any number of things like this… as if we’ve suddenly become a dictatorship as of this election. There will be slightly minor, almost insignificant differences between an Obama victory and a McCain victory… and even if the differences are, relatively, drastic… it won’t be enough to doom us to the future that these people have seemed to envision. You’re still going to wake up tomorrow and be free to do as you like. You’re still going to have a roof over your head, a gun in your home (if you're into that sort of thing), stores will still be open, water will run, electricity will flow, and unless you murder or steal, no man in a uniform is going to drag you from your home. Oh, also if you're homeless... well then that little "roof over your head" thing might not apply. Get a job... loser.

Also, is it really necessary to update your facebook status to “get out the word on voting”? It’s mother fuckin’ election day… is there really anybody left out there with a facebook/email account who DOESN’T know there’s some kind of election going on, Obama is clearly a member of a Muslim terrorist cell, and John McCain eats fetuses to sustain his frail state of health? Hobos who can't read, write, hear, or speak, know that there's an election going on.

Oh, and then the worst type of person is the “I can’t believe you’re not voting!!!” person… who is all about how it’s your “patriotic duty to vote”… until they find out that you’re voting for the other guy. Then you're a goddamned idiot for even having an opinion. This brings me to the next guy... the “candidate x is a freakin’ moron!!!” guy… way to construct a convincing argument… jackass. Both, McCain and Obama got to where they are by being somewhat intelligent... even if they lied, cheated, and stole to get there... you still have to be pretty smart to pull that off while the nation is watching. I say "Bravo!" to each candidate for both their balls and their cunning.

In conclusion, I like "quotes". Carry on.

Truer Words...

Good Lord the guys over at Penny Arcade have nailed it. I think the IYA crew would work out a similar system if we didn't all want to play every game ever... except War World... Fuck me, that game sucks.

A Great Many Things

Well it looks like On The Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness Episode 2 hits XBLA tomorrow. I'm not at all sure how I missed this, but I'm pretty excited. Well, I'm excited that it's coming out... in a vacuum... when wrapped up with all the other shit coming out it feels like a kick in the ol' mean bean machine that I didn't see coming.


I'm still finishing up Fable 2, I picked up Fallout 3 tonight, and Gears of War 2 comes out in a couple of weeks. Not to mention that I'd like to get my hands on Little Big Planet, and I still haven't given any time to Capcom's 8-bit revival, Mega Man 9.

Oh, and this came in the mail today too:



This is brought to you by the same guy who runs Kissing Suzy Kolber, Drew Magary... a pretty hilarious NFL site. Go buy it... if you have the balls.

Balls... hehe.


Anyway, it looks like I've got plenty to keep me busy for a while.

On another note, now that I have a moment to elaborate, Fable 2 is pretty awesome. I don't know why, but the mindless tasks behind it can sometimes be so entertaining... the little side jobs like wood cutting and bartending are so stupid, but so fun. I'm sure that says absolutely nothing good about me at all. I will say that I'll be glad to give the game a shot going the "evil" route... because FUCK those villagers are annoying. It'll be nice to slap the shit out of one the next time she talks about the rumored killer chicken that ate a boy.

Oh, and in "Intervention Watch '08"... Tag was playing before I signed in... and was still going strong when I signed off. We're monitoring the situation carefully. It should also be noted that he's on his second playthrough. Dude is hardcore. There's the spirit that built the railroads!

Fabled

Can't... stop... playing... Fable 2... must post... but... Fable 2.

And that goes for all 4 of us. I don't even think Tag has used a bathroom since release.

It got ugly during Mass Effect... we'd plan an intervention... but... you know... Fable 2.

Nice Job, A**holes

Just when we thought we were a Celtics opening day loss away from cyanide chewing gum becoming the best selling product in Boston, the Broncos have to go and fuck up everybody's party.

Futball

I’d first like to state that I don't know shit about soccer. I’ve heard through various reviews that this year, EA’s Fifa is far better than the Pro Evolution Soccer series. I took Fifa 09 for a spin this weekend. All I can say is that this game is really fun to play. The game starts out with you and a ball about near half field facing a goalie. You can play around with the controls and just practice shooting. This feeling of freedom and intrigue can only be described as the first time I tried Boom Blox.

The main feature of the game is called Pro Mode where you design your own custom character and put him on a team. You start out on the reserve team and work your way up to the first team. The thing about pro mode is that you only get to play the character you made. You get experience points for doing stuff correctly such as; completing passes, being in the right position, helping on defense, and just running with the ball. Of course, if you do it wrong, they take away experience. There is an arrow on your character showing about where he should be on the field at any particular time so you don’t feel lost. After every game, you can use the experience points towards your player attributes. I learned pretty quickly that you need stamina to play soccer and my left midfielder is going to get some mileage. There are still the generic features you get with all the sports games but I’ll be stuck on pro mode for a while. The game still suffers from its’ previous editions and has a terrible camera system. When in regular play, the game switches players automatically when you’re on defense which sometimes has you suddenly switch off the character you want to be and let the computer dribble right past while you think you’re still controlling the player you wanted to be controlling. It’s a solid title and I might have consider this a buy instead of just a rental. 8/10