Don't Worry, I'm Here To Help...

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. What the fuck are the Houston Texans trying to pull? Turnover after turnover after turnover. It's like Matt Schaub and Sage Rosenfels have some kind of bet going to see who will throw the most eye en tees this year. As I type this, Sage is really padding his stats in this contest. That's pick #4 for the game. But, worry not, dear Texans. Let ol' Aith here help you out. You see I think I've come to the root of the problem:





See that there... that's a Texans Jersey. It's what they've been calling "Liberty White" 'round these parts. Study it very closely... that's where you want to throw the ball. I've even done you the favor of making it an Andre Johnson jersey... turns out, this is where you should be going with the ball most of the time anyway. Now I know it's only your first day here... and I don't want to give you too much to digest right away. But, I think we might be able to go over a couple of variations of the jersey above.

These are Navy and "Battle Red" version of your jersey. Notice how they still display the "Texans" logo above the numbers on the front. That's a real key give away. That's what you want to look for at all times since it's consistent across all 3. Once again, these are Andre Johnson jerseys... seriously, throw him the fucking ball... Matt... up here asshole... this is important shit, pay attention.

Yes, I understand you're hurt... yes I know you didn't play at Navy, I said the Jersey was a "Navy" color... fuck

Now, if you find yourself in a situation where this knowledge has left you... I know a crumbling pocket is a tough place to keep your wits about you... simply look down at your own jersey. Match that up with the little bodies running around in front of you, and throw it to that guy... only make sure that number is "80" for fuck's sake.