Andrew Ryan Will Make Your Life Inconvenient

As I mentioned before, I've only recently started to really dive into Bioshock. Andrew Ryan talks a big game, but when he acts, he seems to only act to slow me and not actually kill me. Here's a list of other ways Andrew Ryan has slightly inconvenienced my life.

After threatening to remove all that was tender and gentle from my life, used last fabric softener sheet.

Mowed lawn, had to cancel appointment with lawn service.

Quoted entire most recent episode of The Office before I could watch it on DVR.

Unloaded dishwasher, rearranging dish layout in cabinets.

Fast forwarded all VHS cassettes in my movie cabinet to end (What a dumbass, I totally bought into HD DVD years ago).

Funded development of War World.

Deleted all of my Xbox Live Arcade games... except War World.

Hid keys (jokes on him, I don't have a job!)

Felt bad, showed me he had the keys in his pocket the whole time... then threw them in the backyard.

Ate dog's last rawhide bone.

What has Andrew Ryan done to make your world slightly inconvenient? In the comments!

I Guess I'll Give It A Look

Apparently there's something going on PS Home today. The Playstation Blog says it's some sort of Alternate Reality Game (ARG). The two biggest ARGs that come to my mind were the two associated with the releases of Halo 2 and Halo 3. I Love Bees (Halo 2) was absolutely incredible... I'm only sad that I didn't discover it until well after the fact. However, the audio clips associated with it (found here) played out a really good story. The Halo 3 ARG was fun to watch unfold, but ultimately didn't do much for me. I'm about to hop onto Home right now and see what this one is all about.


UPDATE: Now that I've checked it out it looks like they've at least put a story together for the whole thing. I'm not sure if this is going to be some kind of game release announcement or some new things in home. It sounds like you're assisting some group called AFK who (in the ARG at least) assisted in the creation of home. The team leader was apparently working on a side project called Xi. It looks like there will be periodic updates with new tasks that unlock new pieces of the puzzle. There's some kind of emblem you're collecting pieces of... however when you scroll over them you can see a shadow of the piece I assume will be there. I wouldn't be surprised if somebody puts together a composite of the thing early. If this is some kind of new Scion I'm going to be pissed.

Warring in Halo

Halo Wars is a real time strategy game made just for the Xbox 360 console. This marks the first rts game I've played for the next gen consoles and I must say it has been a great experience. It has been stripped down from the usual rts game models and streamlined for console controls. However, there are less units to choose from because of all the simplifying. While normal rts games have over 15 different unit types, Halo Wars falls short with 10 for the UNSC and 12 for the Covenant. There's not much to say except that it's fun to play. I still prefer rts games to be played on the PC but this is a nice diversion from my norm. There's a really easy learning curve and I recommend this to anyone who's a fan of the Halo universe.

Toaster Technology Is Still A Few Generations Behind...

I found this over at Kotaku... who posted several links as to where they found it. As Kotaku mentions it's brought to us by a modder named Vomitsaw with more pictures of the process here. I heard his next project will be a grill that requires you to play a series of waggle-laden mini-games to flip your burger.

No, We're Not Dead...

Well it's been a while I know... but I really want to start showing up here more often. I'm hoping my fellow "writers" here will come along as well. Tag and I have recently become income challenged (damn you economy!) and still haven't posted. I recently took a trip to Austin and Tag and I spent some time discussing things pertaining to this site. First and foremost we agreed that while having absolutely nothing to do, not posting is completely unacceptable. So, here I am! It's my belief that most of what should be on this site will not only be gaming related... but will aim to get ourselves and others excited about playing games. So it's not likely that you'll find full extensive reviews... though I'm sure we will give our opinions... I think most of what you'll see will be our gaming experiences: how we felt about a game or a description of the fun we had with one (or lack thereof... War World).



So to get to current events, we've been playing a lot of Left 4 Dead lately. For those who don't know, the game puts you in the middle of a world that's been infected by a type of zombifying virus. You play one of four survivors who must make their way from safe house to safe house enroute to a rescue vessel. In addition to the normal infected that attack you from every angle, there are four types of "Special Infected". These are the Smoker who attacks from long range with a tongue that chokes your character while dragging them. The Hunter which jumps on you, pins you, and mauls you. The Boomer which vomits on you. And, the Tank who resembles The Hulk and punches really hard.



We finally got Poops to make the purchase... which was really just the trigger for the rest of us to go out and buy it. Well, that is everybody but Fenris because his roommate apparently likes to leave their router wide open for all to use. This has recently made it difficult for him to maintain a constant internet connection. Anyway, It's damn near impossible to just get Poops to buy a game... he's not as blantently irresponsible when it comes to his game spending. Well, I thought this was the case until he bought 50 Cent: Blood on the Sand... it tuns out that Fiddy does in fact get his skull back. Thank the Lord for that. But, I digress. With Left 4 Dead finally in our posession I have taken on the full responsibility of delivering as much friendly fire as possible to my teammates. This is not a task I take lightly as I constantly make sure to send random rounds flying squarly into the backs of my teammates. Some might say it's my fault... I say they're a bunch of stammering idiots who should know how to stay out of my GD way... I'm looking righ at you Poops.



In all seriousness, the game is a ton of fun. It is obviously running off of a very old engine, but somehow that thing still holds on and manages to produce a lot of fun (Orange Box anybody?). I do however recommend playing with 4 actual people and not letting the computer AI control one of your teammates. You can't communicate with them, therefore they don't really stick to the plan. Last night, we had 3 human players and one AI. First we all decided to try for the achievement which requires you to avoid the witch through an entire campaign... Louis (the AI player) screwed that up right off the bat. At the end of every campaign mode you're required to make a run to an escape vessel... If one player is left behind and beyond rescue, the best method is to just make a run for the escape (in this case a boat) and be done. However, the computer AI stands firmly behind the "no man left behind" credo. So, when Tag was pinned down, Poops and I made a run for the boat... Louis did not. The level won't end until all remaining survivors are on the boat.... I should also add that a giant horde rush usually accompanies the arrival of the rescue. So, Poops and I were standing on the boat trying to keep the muphuggers away while Louis "Forrest Gumped" his way into a failed rescure of Tag... and then limped his sorry ass back to the boat. Actually, now that I think about it... and AI player at least makes things more interesting all the way through. Plus he'll sacrafice his med kit to heal you rather than himself... and how do we repay him? We let smokers drag him off and kill him while we make our stand. Dude needs to learn how to be a team player.



Left 4 Dead is an A+ in the fun department... buy it.



In addition to L4D I started up Bioshock again yesterday... I'm way behind. With the sequel being announced already I figured I should finish the first one. So far so good.



Lastly, Tag and I have co-oped Halo Wars and HAWX all the way through... we even did HAWX a second time a few nights later when Fenris bought it. I hope to recount our adventures in HAWX some time soon (or at least talk about new adventures... we need to play that some more). I'll give Tag a chance to talk about Halo Wars since he's spent the most time with it.



Alright kids, that's all for now!



Also, if you're actually reading this, comment or something... this includes you fellow Axis members.